- “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
- “If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber.”
- Albert Einstein
- “Let’s say I was a plumber, or I worked at a factory, I would download music, you feel what I’m saying?”
- Obie Trice
- “Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn’t change people’s habits. It just kept them inside the house.”
- Alfred Hitchcock
- “Had I been more responsible I might have made something of myself as a junk bond trader, long-haul trucker or perhaps a plumbing contractor.”
- Brock Yates
- “Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”
- Woody Allen
- “If I waited for inspiration every time I sat down to write a song I probably would be a plumber today.”
- Barry Mann
- “A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.”
- Arthur Baer
- “Every actor is somewhat mad, or else he’d be a plumber or a bookkeeper or a salesman.”
- Bela Lugosi
- “Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.”
- George Meany
- “Modern cynics and skeptics… see no harm in paying those to whom they entrust the minds of their children a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom they entrust the care of their plumbing.” - John F. Kennedy
- “The process of competitively selecting contractors to perform work is based on a system of rewards and penalties, all distributed randomly.”
- Norman R. Augustine
