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Costello buys a computer.

The Original


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM  ABBOTT

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today their infamous sketch,  'Who's on First?', might have turned out something like this...

ABBOTT:  Super Duper Computer Store, can I help you?

COSTELLO:  Thanks.  I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT:  Mac?

COSTELLO:  No,  my name's Lou.

ABBOTT:  Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. That is why I am calling.

ABBOTT:  Mac?

COSTELLO:  I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT:  What  about Windows?

COSTELLO:  Why, will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT:  Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO:  I don't  know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT:  Wallpaper.

COSTELLO:  Never mind the windows. I need a computer and  software.

ABBOTT:  Software for Windows?

COSTELLO:  No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT:  Office.

COSTELLO:  Yeah,  for my office. Can you recommend  anything?

ABBOTT:  I just  did.

COSTELLO:  You  just did what?

ABBOTT:  Recommend something.

COSTELLO:  You recommended something?

ABBOTT:  Yes.

COSTELLO:  For my  office?

ABBOTT:  Yes.

COSTELLO:  OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT:  Office.

COSTELLO:  Yes,  for my office!

ABBOTT:  I recommend Office with Windows or Mac.

COSTELLO:  I  already have an office with windows! I told you my name is Lou. OK, let's just say I'm  sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I  need?

ABBOTT:  Word.

COSTELLO:  What word?

ABBOTT:  Word for Office.

COSTELLO:  The word for office is office?!

ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows, Mac.

COSTELLO:  My name is Lou. Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT:  The  Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO:  I'm  going to click your blue 'W' if you don't start with some straight answers. What  about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can track my  money with?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO:  That's  right. What do you have?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO:  I need  money to track my money?

ABBOTT:  It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO:  What's  bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO:  Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT:  Yes, at  no extra charge.

COSTELLO:  I get a  bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT:  One  copy.

COSTELLO:  Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Microsoft  gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO:  They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Why not? They own it!

A few  days later

ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store, can I help you?

COSTELLO: I bought a new computer from you. How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click "Start".

COSTELLO: I should click "Start" to stop?

ABBOTT: Yes, to stop you click "Start".

COSTELLO: This computer is making me sick. There has got to be a better way. What else do you suggest?

ABBOTT: Well, how about "Mint".

COSTELLO: "Mint" will make me feel better?!

ABBOTT: If you don't like "Mint" then you can just take a "tablet".

COSTELLO: A tablet of what?

ABBOTT: Mac - Windows - Android.

COSTELLO: I told you my name is Lou!

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